waiting for surgery for five days

I spent the next five days waiting for somebody to tell me that they were going to operate. I was in a private room at the edge of a ward, with mainly old people, at least one of whom was suffering with dementia. I was taken up to the ward in the middle of the night. It seems movement of patients between wards happens at night when the corridors are quiet.  I have never felt more like a piece of furniture. The porter who moved me checked I  was the right person by reading my name to me off a sheet. He mis-read my name, which I corrected him on, but then continued to call be by the mis-read name.  Him and the other porter then chatted away as they pushed me through the hospital, as if it was an empty bed. I was pushed into the private room, and none of the nurses said anything to me about where I was and what the plan was.  Two ladies kept calling out in the night, one of whom kept trying to get up to "catch a bus" and had to keep being reminded that she was in hospital.

At the time I was annoyed because nobody seemed to be telling me what they were going to do with me.  In hindsight, I realise that nobody knew what was to happen. I was on a list, that was constantly changing depending on how priorities changed.

In the five days a lay waiting in my little room, I Felt a fraud. Now the obstruction was clear, I Felt very well, and just sat around, reading a book, watching telly, and waiting for visitors to come.

I expected my consultant to come and see me at some point, but he never did. Finally, after five days, a surgeon came in to see me.

She explained that the scans showed considerable strictures, and surgery was the only option. She drew a diagram showing the areas that need to be removed. She also said that from the scans it looked urgent, but looking at me, she was in two minds because I looked so well!

She went away for a few minutes, and then came back and said she was going to try and get me into surgery that afternoon, so as from that point I was nil by mouth.

I felt nervous then. I had never been under General anaesthetic before, and this was major surgery. I tried to get my husband to come and see me in case I went to theatre. He had a busy day at work,and couldn't get away. This made me even more nervous. What if something went wrong and we hadn't seen each other?  It turned out I didn't have time to be nervous though, as within minutes the anaethitist was in talking to me and then, I was signing forms, and being wheeled down to theatre! All of a sudden, it was all very real!